Food is my enemy

My mind is the battlefield

Fighting the urge

using all the self-control in my body..

water and vitamins are my diet.

determined to be beautiful

to be the perfect.

wanting beauty

needing food

refusing it.

starving myself

in this quest for perfection......

body breaks down

you can see the bones clearly now,

but STILL i continue

mind forcing me to continue

determined to have the perfect

 

looking in the mirror

finally understanding....

ana is NOT my friend

she is a cold, heartless bitch

whispering lies and changingme

i have no idea who the hell ive become

since when did i believe that

true beauty is measured in how far my hip bones stick out?

Since when did i believe

that that was the perfect

 

is that really what i believe?

or is it just what ana tells me?

looking in the mirror

hating my reflection.

rage boils over

glass shatters around my fist

destroying the reflection of the perfect

 

fork to my lips

i cant do it

looking at the plate of food.

life

bile rises in my mouth

i run to the bathroom

it terrifies me

the smell and mostly

the thought of distroying the perfect

 

beware!

ana is not your friend

neither is mia,

though they would tell you that they are.

they tell you that they can help you achieve the perfect

and they do...

but they destroy you in the process